Your partner may not want to throw a Laundry Folding Party or take a turn as Social Secretary, but you might get them to agree to something like: “I am willing to experiment because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me about the laundry all the time,” or, even, “I will try experimenting because you’ve told me it would make you happier if we do it together.” For Haley, the stress the unequal dynamic causes her partner and the conflict it can create in their otherwise very happy life are motivation to change things up and share the load more fairly at home. And over time, they’ll likely become chores you don’t do.įor you, your motivation for being here is probably obvious: “I want to experiment because I am tired of having to do everything for everyone.” For others, the motivation might be less obvious, but it’s probably there beneath the surface once you start digging. Without underlying motivations, these experiments are just chores you do because someone told you to. So what do you do when the family members you need to step up, push back against experimenting with sharing the load?įirst, try to identify every individual’s underlying motivation for experimenting. After all, the work is getting done, the food cooked, the laundry folded, the kids cared for, whether you do it or not. As our BLL innovation manager Haley Swenson admits of her own role at home, when you’re secondary tidier in your relationship, things look pretty good, overall.
#INVENTORY LAB VS OUTRIGHT HOW TO#
Why do we assume this is the case? If you’re a family member or household member who is carrying less than their fair share of the load, you probably aren’t looking for tips on how to change things up. So how do you convince resistant family members-be they your partner, your kids, or some other family member or housemate-that experimenting with the way you share the load is worthwhile? And how do we ensure that trying Better Life Lab Experiments (BLLx) doesn’t become just one more thing that the family’s chief get-it-done manager-usually a woman-has to worry about, plan and do week to week?Ĭhances are, you’ve come to BLLx because you are shouldering the burden of most of your household’s labor.
Making changes stick takes buy-in and active, ongoing participation from all members of a household. Getting everyone to share the load at home fairly is not something one person can do on their own.
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